Douchebag Chronicles, PT. 2

Another douchey quality I possess, is that I don't trust people who go out of their way to be nice to everyone, that want others to recognize their evolved and heightened moral fortitude...

see: http://www.slate.com/id/2090083/

I do believe in the goodness of people...I love, enjoy, admire those close to me...but for those outside the pack? Sure,I am civil...it's hard to make friends walking around giving people the middle finger and cursing them-but I don't go out of my way to be nice-it's dishonest. That overarching, artificial sweetness comes not from how you have made that person feel, but your sense of superiority "I am a better person because..."

I believe people are motivated ultimately by the primal. Sure we have the ability to reason, we are homo sapien sapiens...and I thank the sweet baby jesus everyday because if it weren't for fear of prison or divine retribution or the need for man to feel himself better than the animals I'd have been stabbbed in the neck YEARS ago. Someone would have taken me out. Seriously.
People fear the law, jesus, or being viewed as an other/bad. People fear lonliness so they mirror those around them, they swallow up the politically correct kool-aid...do what it takes to be taken in by the pack.

And sure, I take part in the superficial decency of our human choreography-but to those close to me, I rarely sugarcoat or coddle and don't expect anyone else to. I don't live in a bubble, so I don't fear anyone bursting it. I don't knowingly make promises I can't keep. I won't tell you want to hear so we can put an issue to bed.

I am a firm subscriber to the greek school of Cynicism. The original cynics were critical of the dishonesty and excesses of their modern society. The word Cynic actuall comes from the Greek word for dog. They believed that dogs were of the most honorable of creatures, taking what they need and ignoring the rest. One of my favorite stories that came from that period is this:

There lived a wise man in ancient Greece whose name was Diogenes. Men came from all parts of the land to see him and talk to him.

Diogenes was a strange man. He said that no man needed much, and so he did not live in a house but slept in a barrel, which he rolled about from place to place. He spent his days sitting in the sun and saying wise things to those who were around him.

When Alexander the Great came to that town he went to see the wise man. He found Diogenes outside the town lying on the ground by his barrel. He was enjoying the sun.

When he saw the king he sat up and looked at Alexander. Alexander greeted him and said:

"Diogenes, I have heard a great deal about you. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," said Diogenes, "you can step aside a little so as not to keep the sunshine from me."

The king was very much surprised. But this answer did not make him angry. He turned to his officers with the following words:

"Say what you like, but if I were not Alexander, I should like to be Diogenes."

Don't steal my sunshine and I won't go scorched earth on you or rain on your parade.
It is that simple.