country songs

from what I can gather you have this weird country song mindset that you want a woman that "makes you want to be a better man", that you have this idea of what makes a good wife/girlfriend etc and then there is everyone else. All that "better man" bullshit is going to ensure you atleast one more divorce/bitter break-up and/or a lifetime of scumbaggery as you "get your dick wet" on the side in any future relationship you are in-whether it be a year or ten years into your next relationship.

When you talk about your wife or about past relationships, there is always distance there. That distance, the best I can figure, is the difference between what you need and what you have been hardwired to believe that you want. When we were in Atlanta, you talked about how Melanie made a "good wife"...she was loyal and devoted and got you pole beans for your garden while you away. Meanwhile, you were telling all this to me:for lack of a better word-your mistress who you had flown cross country with...and you talked alot in Atlanta about what it meant to be "a man"...but it seemed empty...like part of your idea of being a man was having a solid woman at home and a life that looked good on paper-but didn't require you to be emotionally present at all. Like all your relationships, except for ours, regardless of how serious or casual, have always been you relating to a female in this distant way...where you are the "man" and you tell her what she wants to hear or do what you think she wants and then live a life completely separate to the one you share with her. And while having your own friends and a life away from your partner is healthy, you have a completely separate life...like they wouldn't recognize you if they saw more than what they want to see or what you allow them to see.

And I think that is why you have always run around...and why you may always run around. Passion in any relationship cools...but if you don't connect on a deeper level, it is easy to just go out and fuck someone else and tell yourself it doesn't matter-because it doesn't...the people in your life are just the outlines of people. Your interactions- they are all choreography.

And sitting from where I sit,it just seems so empty. I remember you telling me about sam, about how you respected that she wouldn't hook up with you because you were married...And I remember thinking that she wasn't morally superior,she just needed to be the center of attention. And your approach with her was different, you courted her and you had even said that if you were single there may have been more between you. And I remember thinking-but you weren't single, and you weren't going to leave your wife, so your best case scenario was that you just got to fuck her a few times before you walked away from her and yet, you kinda put me down for respecting your situation and just being honest, and not making things bigger or more important than they were. And I am sure with this new girl and with the next string of girls, you will take them out and tell them what they want to hear, then tell yourself that is how it supposed to be...

all i am saying is that you need to look deep. You said before the last time I was in Vegas you felt like your girlfriend was coming to town, and you were intense with me in bed, emotionally-not just physically...and then you said that your feelings for me threatened your marriage. Look at that. Look at why your relationship with me is different. part of it is because I don't fit into the typical mold. Being a better man is knowing yourself and coming into a relationship a whole person-not that shit you hear in country songs.

Maybe you can't have that closeness with anyone else, I dunno...but look deep. Because I am not going through the shit we have gone through in your next relationship. If you leave your wife and 3 weeks or 3 months or 3 years down the road into your next relationship, you are still sleeping with me-and tell me that your feelings for me are interfering with that relationship, I am going to fly to vegas and kick you in the nuts. because you would have to be a fucking retard to always push to the side the person who you care for.

a marionette with cut strings huh? thats a good one